I don't know how much I can say I "know" about this subject, just yet, at least. But, I thought I'd fill you in on what I've learned... or haven't learned!
I've learned that with the 2nd baby here, it is SO different than when I had just Sadie, in so many ways. With Sadie, never would I have let her sleep in our bed. Tripp spent about a week and a half in our bed every night! I broke that last night and he did great in his crib! I had to look back at blog posts I had done with Sadie at this age and relized, it was ok and she turned out great!
I also have realized that I hate nursing!!! I despise it to be completely honest! I'm still doing it, but can't wait to hit my goal and be done. We found out that our doctor is not going to code our c-section as "due to complications", so now we have to pay in full our entire hospital bill! So to also say, hey Jeff, can we pay for formula also, would just be wrong!
I've realized it will ALWAYS be hard to balance time, money, pictures, etc. with both Tripp and Sadie! I will always worry that I'm not giving one as much attention, love, memories as the other! But, like my mom always said to me, "fair, doesn't mean even, it means you give to one what that one needs at the moment!" I don't know how parents of more than 2 do it!
I've realized that it will be ok! I say that after a few days ago I was having meltdown after meltdown. I have been blessed with 2 pretty easy babies, so far, and yet the lack of sleep and the hormone rollercoaster going on in my body have taken a toll! I love them both more than I ever understood... which makes me understand how much my mother TRULY loves me and my sister! Gosh, how awful I feel for the times I was so mean to her. But, look at us now... we have an amazing relationship and I STILL know, she loves me and would drop it all for me! That relationship is what will get me through the middle school and high school years! When Sadie tells me how much she hates me, I'll think of what my mother and me have now!
I also realize that I'm a control freak... ok, I always knew I was, but even more now. Which probably is what lead to the meltdown last week! I can't control hardly anything with 2 still in diapers! Between feedings, lunch, sippy cups, burp pads, laundry, dinner, and the dog... right now, as my sister would say, its about survival! HAHA! But, so true!
I realize that I need the Lord Jesus more than you can imagine!!! When the 2:00 a.m. feeding comes and Tripp WON'T burp (he's a terrible burper) I just want to go back to sleep, I've got to cry out to the Lord for patience! When Sadie is having a tantrum... YES those have hit... and I'm thinking what has happened to my child and Lord please don't let us need Supernanny, I can pray to him again and he is there!!!
I realize that as much as I want to claw Jeff's eyes out..due to the hormones I'm sure! :)... I love him so much and appreciate him and that I'm so proud to say that he is the man God wanted me to walk through life with and that this is one of the many chapters in our book! I'm so very excited that in 25 years when both our kids are building their lives we will get to look at what we've accomplished together!
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